Confianza

Confiamos en alguien cuando creemos conocer sus intenciones. Desconfiamos de alguien cuando creemos desconocer sus intenciones; aun más claramente desconfiamos cuando creemos saber que oculta sus intenciones. En el primer caso, haga lo que haga y diga lo que diga,creemos saber que todo se corresponde con sus intenciones. En el segundo caso, nada que haga o diga nos convence de que no oculta algo.

¿Cómo podemos creer que conocemos las intenciones de otras personas? ¿Cómo podemos justificar esta creencia? A simple vista nos damos cuenta que las intenciones de otros son completamente invisibles a nuestros ojos. Lo más cerca que podemos estar de ellas es saber lo que otros dicen que son sus intenciones. Pero, ¿cómo podemos saber si lo que comunican es cierto? Y quedamos donde mismo, sin saber a qué atenernos.

La creencia de que conocemos las intenciones de otros seres humanos tiene siempre algo infundado. Podemos interpretar las intenciones como conversaciones que tiene alguien consigo mismo sobre su relación con las cosas, los seres vivos y los seres humanos que existen en el mundo. En general, una conversación en la que se dice a si mismo lo que ellos le provocan y lo que se propone hacer con los mismos. Por definición es una conversación siempre potencialmente privada y opaca a los demás. Más nos vale no pretender que la escuchamos o que la conocemos de ninguna manera.

Normalmente basar nuestra confianza en creer que conocemos las intenciones ajenas nos conduce a confiar en lo familiar y a desconfiar de lo no familiar. Simplemente porque suponemos desde el sentido común que conocemos aquello que es familiar. Así terminamos confiando en nuestros amigos, simplemente porque lo son, y desconfiando de los distantes, simplemente porque lo son. Manifestamos infinita paciencia y comprensión con las traiciones y abandonos de nuestros amigos en la misma medida que manifestamos impaciencia e incomprensión con las fallas de los demás. Mal aconsejados estamos los 15 millones de habitantes de este pueblo chico si creemos que podemos confiar así en el mundo.

En realidad no se trata de saber que alguien es confiable porque no podemos saber cuales son sus intenciones. No podemos basar la confianza en el saber. Lo que quiere decir que no podemos suponer que estamos seguros. En realidad, debido a que las intenciones son ocultas, los seres humanos siempre podemos traicionar: podemos engañar  comunicando intenciones que  no son verdaderamente las que enemos.  Nada puede asegurarnos contra esta posibilidad. Pero la contrapartida de esta posibilidad de traicionar es la posibilidad de cumplir y guiarnos por buenas intenciones, y muchas veces de manera gratuita. Si le fuera prohibido a nuestro ser la traición, no le sería posible la nobleza.

Pero no podemos movernos entre las expectativas de traición y las expectativas de nobleza. Necesitamos inventar una manera de confiar que sea adecuada para movernos en el mundo ancho y ajeno actual, y al confiar hacerlo menos ajeno. La mejor manera por lejos de entender la confianza la encuentro en los trabajos de Fernando Flores. En particular recomiendo aquí el  documento sobre promesas y confianza disponible para los inscritos en su blog.  Sobre esto prometo seguir en otro post más adelante.
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Comentarios

Tienes toda la razon, pero me quede con en leve gusto a poco, falto agregar algo (con tu permiso), como resumir que la confianza, desafortunadamente por muy buenas que sean las intenciones iniciales, no se puede demostrar con palabras. Es algo que se demuestra netamente con hechos. 

Confiar para mi es sinonimo de liberatd y tranquilidad interior. Es asi que, por ejemplo, como mensionas de como estan las cosas hoy en dia en el mundo, y que la gran mayoria desconfia de todo, bueno seria un buen ejercicio empezar a confiar. Asi es confiar en lo inconfiable incluso, pero si tienes altura de miras, te mantendras incolume, aun ante la peor traicion a tu confianza. Confiar es estar seguro, y cuando estas seguro, te podras caer muchas veces, pero la confianza te hara levantarte y seguir cuantas veces sea necesesario.

Saludos 

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esta cool y con demasiada rason

 

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HOLA ME LLAMO DIANA LA CONFIANZA ES MUY BONITA CUANDO TE LA DAN A TI PERO CUANDO DESCONFIAS EN ESA PERSONA NO ES BONITA LA CONFIANZA ES MUY BONITA Y HERMOSA PERO SI LA SABES GUARDAR
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hace mas de 5 años k termine la relacion con el papa de mi niña. y tengo un nuevo novio pero ya tenemos 3años y medio con esta relacion el le acomentado a un amigo k yo soy una buena persona y k ya estava bueno y k el sekeria casr conmigo pero su amigo le dijo k no cometa ese errol pork cunado una mujer tiene un ante pasado osea k ya atenido otra parareja y con hijo k eso es un errol grave k el iva acometer bueno lo k pso fue k el ledijo k comenzara a elogiarme por tel. y el compro un nuevo numero tel y yo nosavia de kien era ese numero y el el dias primero de enero del 2010

comensonso a pasarme mensaje como haciendo sepasar por el y yo me cienrto muy mar con el pork el save k yo ledigo a el k ami nome intera el pero el se llevo de su amigo y con menso amandarme mensaje y yo le contestava pero yo le ontestava en una forma muy erida pork el me causo mucho daña tanto fisico como psicologico y ala bervale para mi k era el k el me ponia lo mensaje y yo cai en la trapa hoy en dia mi novio perdio la con fianza de mi y el ya nometiene la misma confianza y tambien me acusa de cosa k yono echo.y por esoa cudido ha esta pagina para ber si alguie me ayuda.ya el no es la misma persona con migo pero el dice k el me kiere pero no entiendo de la forma k el lo hace pork el efrio con migo nome toma de la mano cunado salimos y cuando llegamo algun sitio nocentamos aditancia y cuando estamos junto casi no habla con migo y si habla es cosa de cuerno o de la infedelidad y ya esto me esta cansado y nose k hacer yo le digo k si el yano tiene con fianza k terminemos la relcion pero el medise k no pork el mekiere mucho y k el nuca atenido una mujer como yo k el atenido varia pero como yo ninguna y solo tengo k quedarme en silencio pork yo tambien lo kiero mucho y le pido adios k ya cetermine esta tormenta pork yano aguanto mas por favor k alguien me ayude

Sugiero que contactes  alguien que sepa de comunicación que te pueda ayudar.

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Hola entre a tu pagina y me gusto el tema: es triste ver como se pierde la confianza de la pareja y sobre todo de la manera como ocurrio. Resulta que un dia recibi un correo de una pareja que tuve hace muchisimos años, para mi fue una sorpresa por cuanto yo no le habia dado mi correo (se lo dio mi hermano) en el me saludaba con cariño y me invitaba a que si para semana santa iba al pueblo de mi madre no podiamo tomar un cafe. La verdad es que yo conteste con alegria de una persona que tiene años que no ve a la otra, solo eso le pregunte por su esposa, sus hijos, le dije que tengo mas de un año en una relacion con una persona muy especial y que si iba al pueblo, claro nos tomariamos ese cafe. Francamente todo fue sin malicia. De hecho le comente a mi pareja sobre el correo pero omiti la respuesta, no por lo que pudiera pensar, sino mas bien porque no le di importancia. De hecho si iba al pueblo pensaba ir con mi marido y de paso ir con el a tomarnos ese cafe, para que lo conociera.

Lo cierto es que todo se enredo y un dia mi pareja recibo ese correo que yo respondi de manos de mi hermano, lo que ocasion todo este lio, una desconfianza enorme, el siente que le traicione, Le he pedido perdon y le he tratado de hacer entender que si bien fue una estupidez de mi parte no haberle dicho que habia contestado al correo, fue simplemente una respuesta de amiga de mas nada. Pero no logro que me entienda, eso lo marco y vive muy resentido, triste. Me lo echa en cara. Todo esto es muy doloroso pues yo lo amo y es triste ver como se pierde la confianza de quien tanto se ama. No se que hacer.

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Hola, es algo tonto pero no se como. mi novio me dice que no me tiene confianz, cuando le pregunto me dice que no sabe, que simplemente no confia en mi. Lo poco que me ha dicho ha sido que porque no sabe muy ien mis intenciones, que piensa que le voy a jugar la vuelta. La verdad eso me duele, porque sinceramente no he hecho nada para que desconfie, al contrario él ha sido el que me ha ocultado cosas, que al final las "reconoce" pero igual ya las hixo, por el contrario él a mi no me ha denostratdo mucha confianza que digamos. Yo estoy tratando de confiar en él, lo hago poco a poco todos los dias me esfuerzo y no me la complico, pero EL me dice :"quiero confiar en ti" pero yo trato todos los dias de demostrale no SOLAMENTE PARA QUE EL CONFIE sino porque asi soy yo! nada de secretos ni de cosas a escondiddas, soy bien transaprente en una relacion.

Ahora, QUE HAGO? COMO HAGO? QUE TENGO QUE HACER para que confie en mi? ya le he hablado, ya le he dicho lo que sieno, pero parece que es él el que esta lleno de desconfianza y que no lo deja creer en mi, tener la total confianza. Ayudenme porque la veradd no se que es lo que tengo que hacer?

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Los invito a conocer la primera red social (chilena)que conecta a las personas a travs de la confianza, recomendndose Aportes unos a otros. Aporte es todo aquello con lo cual podemos ayudar a otros. Se recomienda a los conocidos y para los conocidos (no es pginas amarillas).
Administra las relaciones de confianza clasificando a los contactos como: amigo, conocido, dato (proveedor), cliente y indica la cercana del poseedor del Aporte recomendado con respecto al que Busca tal aporte,mediante el concepto de crculos. Circulo 1 son mis contactos, circulo 2 son los contactos de mis contactos,etc. Ingresen a www.quiendonde.cl
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Le mentii a mii novioo de un chiico qe qiiere andaar conmiigo el chiico viino a mii qasa ii io estaba ablaando con el diciendole qe teniia noviio qe estabamoos comprometiidos ii todo eso pero en ese momento iegaron mis suegroos me viieron con el al siguiiente diia se lo diije pero con mentiiraas entoncees variias personaas comenzaaron a deciirle la verdaas junto con sus papas qe el chiico duro muxiio tiiempo aqii ii qe estabamos solo entoncees viino ii nos peleamoos entoncees aiier el viino disqee solucionamoos las cosaas pero el piiensaa qe io salii con ese chiico qe lo besee ii no solamentee plaatiikabamoos entoncees io ia le aviia fallado antees ii aoraa diicee qe no qree qe podamoos estar de nuevo juntoos qe cada qe estaa conmiigo se le viienen muxiiax cosaas a la mentee ii io ia no se qe aceer lo amo muxiio ii no lo qiiero perdeer porfavoor diiganme qomo le puedo aceer para aceerlo entennder qe no paso nadaa ii qe solo lo amo a el.......(iia tenemos 3 años 7 meses de noviios tenemos un hiijo de un año)

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Le mentii a mii novioo de un chiico qe qiiere andaar conmiigo el chiico viino a mii qasa ii io estaba ablaando con el diciendole qe teniia noviio qe estabamoos comprometiidos ii todo eso pero en ese momento iegaron mis suegroos me viieron con el al siguiiente diia se lo diije pero con mentiiraas entoncees variias personaas comenzaaron a deciirle la verdaas junto con sus papas qe el chiico duro muxiio tiiempo aqii ii qe estabamos solo entoncees viino ii nos peleamoos entoncees aiier el viino disqee solucionamoos las cosaas pero el piiensaa qe io salii con ese chiico qe lo besee ii no solamentee plaatiikabamoos entoncees io ia le aviia fallado antees ii aoraa diicee qe no qree qe podamoos estar de nuevo juntoos qe cada qe estaa conmiigo se le viienen muxiiax cosaas a la mentee ii io ia no se qe aceer lo amo muxiio ii no lo qiiero perdeer porfavoor diiganme qomo le puedo aceer para aceerlo entennder qe no paso nadaa ii qe solo lo amo a el.......(iia tenemos 3 años 7 meses de noviios tenemos un hiijo de un año)

PIDE HABLAR CON ÉL:

Reconócele que hiciste algo que él considera una promesa rota de tu parte (estar a solas con), aunque quizás tú n o sabías que era una promesa tuya.

Pídele disculpas por el sufrimiento, o el mal rato, que le produjiste

Pregúntale si hay algo que puedas hacer para compensarle el dolor (ej hablar con tus suegros,.. olo que sea que a él le sirva)

Y prométele que algo así no ocurrirá nunca más.

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Hi there are using Wordpress for your site platform? I'm new to the blog world but I'm trying to get started and create my own. Do you require any html coding knowledge to make your own blog? Any help would be greatly appreciated!
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Greetings! Very useful advice in this particular post! It is the little changes which will make the most important changes. Many thanks for sharing!
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What's up to all, how is everything, I think every one is getting more from this website, and your views are pleasant in favor of new viewers.
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No, the sun is getting hotter. That would heat things up a bit right? There is no evidence that our carbon foprotint on the earth is affecting the globe. Al Bore is an idiot. The only reason they want us to buy into the idea of global warming is so that they can start a global, yes global carbon tax. The powers that be are already talking about it.
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that though these latest reports have put some doubt in my mind that my dad was necessarily ready to go at this time. Maybe so, maybe not! However, one thing I am sure about is that he was suffering and, whether he went before his time or not, he isn’t suffereing anymore. I will always stay committed to the belief that Marie Curie did everything they could to make the end of my fa1&trh#82e7;s life more comfortable and certainly helped prepare the family for his final days and the months to come.
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Thanks for the insight. It brings light into the dark!
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Gee willikers, that's such a great post!
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Brilliant, perceptive analysis. Keep up the good work. Might I suggest looking into to the Unholy alliance between the Muslims and the reptilian Radical traitors who are complicit in our destructions.
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Your article perfectly shows what I needed to know, thanks!
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I think that what you published made a lot of sense. However, consider this, what if you typed a catchier title? I ain't saying your content is not solid, however what if you added a post title that grabbed people's attention? I mean Confianza is kinda boring. You could look at Yahoo's home page and see how they write article titles to grab viewers interested. You might add a video or a picture or two to grab people excited about everything've got to say. In my opinion, it might make your website a little livelier.
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What a pleasure to meet someone who thinks so clearly
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Me Yega(Hallo)!Fuer mich ist Freundschaft so etwas wie Bruederlichkeit.Einem Freund kann ich fast alles erzaehlen.Der kann mir bei Problemen helf...
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Frankly, the Greens need to play by the rules for once! They have damaged themselves in the past by following Harvie’s whims (from here he looks more like a dictator, rather than a “co-convener”). He is no Robin Harper, and they have suffered electorally as a result. Time to step-up and stick to their purported political beliefs, to demonstrate that they have beliefs beyond the purely environmental.
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scrive:Please let me know if you desire a author to your blog. You incorporate some really very good articles and I do think I will be a good asset. If an individual ever need to take a few of the load off, I’d absolutely want to write some articles for the blog in exchange for a web link back to be able to mine. Please shoot me a great e-mail when interested. Kudos!
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Finding this post has solved my problem
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Your post is a timely contribution to the debate
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I keep having dreams that my husbund is having an affair with my sister-in-law. i know that this is not true?SO WHY THE DREAM, I HAVE NOT TALKED TO HER FOR 2 YEARS, NOT BECAUSE OF THIS, SO WHY AM I HAVING THESE KINDS OF DREAMS NOW?THEY STARTED ABOUT 2 MONTHS AGO I AM REMEBERING ALOT MORE FROM THEM AS I HAVE THEM. THEY ARE COMING MORE REAL.ANY THOUGHTS
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I guess finding useful, reliable information on the internet isn't hopeless after all.
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Dag nabbit good stuff you whippersnappers!
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...men du! - jeg tror jammen at vi har like kister!! - den som står i enden av senga! er det mulig... - og fargen på stueveggen også!Fint ble det i alle fall!!Vi har brukt hele helga til seters igjen, bare herr og fru, og tross hammer og sag og et sabla styr for å få alt på stell før vinteren, ble det da både elg på fat, rødt i glass og fyr på peis!God uke til deg!
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I see, I suppose that would have to be the case.
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You've captured this perfectly. Thanks for taking the time!
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This does look promising. I'll keep coming back for more.
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A perfect reply! Thanks for taking the trouble.
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Honestly, is this what you guys want to be recognized for? So far I have seen the Pennsauken GOP help de-thrown the leader of the Camden County Gop, publicy endorse Democrats for elected office, and now, picking on a high school student. Show the town something positive and maybe you will get the support you need.
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I just completed my 1st year of B.Com (Hons) from DU and will be sitting for the 2014 Prelims. One of my optional subject will be Public Ad, but am slightly confused about the other. Should I take up Commerce? Or economics? Or something else entirely? I can cover more than half of the syllabus with my graduation if I choose commerce; for other subjects, I’ll have to start from scratch. But I heard it’s fairly tough, and moreover, I don’t have anyone to guide me.Please help!A quick response will be highly appreciated!Praneet.
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Maribe:Creo que los hijos nunca nos ponemos a pensar (o muy rara vez) en lo injustos que somos con las madres y en particular con las amas de casa. Creo que los hombres sacan su lado mas ruin y mas machista cuando ella no trabaja. Por supuesto no es regla general pero si es una injusticia pensar que las mujeres que se quedan en casa se la pasan muy comodamente sin evaluar que su trabajo es menospreciado.Tu comentario fue muy bueno! no tienes nada de que disculparte, todo lo contrario!
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hello les gens Hello Laura, suis toujours aussi surprit quand ces grosses entreprises croient pouvoir, juste avec du fric pouvoir faire échouer tout ce qui va à leurs dépends, mais bon, le fric ne fait pas tout, heureusement. Bon week end à toi
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All of these articles have saved me a lot of headaches.
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In awe of that answer! Really cool!
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It’s serious well, sometimes the chubby ones can be sexy but like this one, they lay on thier fat ass while YOU do the work, yea fun
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creepy at all! Really neat to know you’ve been checking in for that long, thank you for your kind words!p.s. the hasselblad is a 500CM (film camera) – so these were shot with that, and not a digital hasselblad (though I’ve worked with one before i don’t think I will ever be buying one of those in my lifetime!)
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